they need to just BURY HIM!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
