i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
