I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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