I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
