areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
