i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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