Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
