Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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