But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
