Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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