Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
