saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize