"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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