Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
