Plan B is the new Plan A
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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