mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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