How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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