So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize