Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
