I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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