I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
