There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
