I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
