I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
