So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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