hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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