I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
