haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
