fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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