oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
