Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
