Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
