He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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