We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
third nipple confirmed
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
