It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize