just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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