he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
