Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
