Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
