he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
