So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
