i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
