How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
what is it with giant penises always finding me
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
