You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
