No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Drunk walkin through police station. America
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
