How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
