My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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