I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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