it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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