curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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