that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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