nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize