i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
