Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
