I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Your cock deserves a montage
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
