He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I want her autograph on my taint
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
