one might say we're banned from that church
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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