is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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