I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
