i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
