best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I got inside last night via doggy door
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize