I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
