she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
should my penis look like a turkey
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
