This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
