Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize