so that wasnt chicken after all
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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