road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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