Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Randomize
