How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
